PLEASE NOTE MY RESPONSES ARE IN BOLD ITALICS.

Assignment 2 and 4 Assessment potential – DO FOR 3 AND 5
I understand your aim is to go for the Textiles Degree and that you plan to submit your work for assessment at
the end of this course. In order to meet all the assessment criteria, there are certain areas you will need to
focus on, which I will outline in my feedback.

This is a thoughtful discussion of an interesting subject. The depth of research and clarity of discussion could be
improved in a number of ways suggested below. Please read the feedback below in conjunction with comments in
blue I have made within the essay itself.

Feedback on assignment
Demonstration of technical and Visual Skills, Quality of Outcome, Demonstration of Creativity
Essay title:
Change to “How are recycled materials used by textile artists as metaphors or analogies for a narrative or concept?”
This removes extraneous words but clarifies the focus. We know that practitioners can use recycled materials, so the
emphasis needs to be on how they’re being used.

Context:
The essay includes interesting artists and art works but lacks the depth of analysis of the context of the essay: the
role of materials in the communication of metaphors and analogies. Materials all have inherent connotations based
on our experience of them. For example, in the western world, red means stop or danger. When we use red within
an art work we can use this symbolism to help communicate a message. Materials give the artist the power to allude
to and evoke people, places, issues in the world. E.g. the military uniforms in Crimea quilt has connotations of battles
and of the individuals because of the use of uniform. That uniform is a messenger, it creates a connection between
the viewer and the men who made it. When materials are not used for their inherent connotations, visual analogies
can be created through how a material is applied or manipulated.

Reading around the subject will help you find quotes about this. Whilst you can write your own view, this is an
academic level 2 essay and therefore requires a deeper critical context.

You rightly highlight two very different motivations for artists using recycled materials in the second paragraph of
your essay: the more practical issue of sustainability, and the conceptual issue of political and feminist art. When
discussing these two areas, be clear about how the material use differs and what the intention behind the recycling
is. You’ve stated the motivations (“environmental or political issues including that of feminism”) but whilst the
environmental and ethical reasons for recycling are obvious, the value of using found items for an artist is less so
unless you dive deeper into the context. Political art uses materials in a more symbolic way: materials are more likely
to be chosen based on their inherent nature and ability to play a part in the story.

These comments do make sense as I had my concerns over the depth of analysis but was unsure as to why.

Precise use of words:
Be precise in your choice of words, e.g.:
– Recycled / upcycled / reclaimed. Do you view these as synonyms, or do they have different meanings? If they
are synonyms, chose one to use throughout the essay. Discuss the related terms in the introduction. Or use
them one at a time.
– Use terms like ‘found’ or ‘waste’. Eg. Jokinen uses industrial waste which she upcycles (rather than using
already “up-cycled” materials).
– When talking about a piece of work, is it metaphorical or analogous? And is it metaphorical of / analogous to
what? Be specific. You often use these words together but they aren’t the same. Analyse how and why
something is a metaphor or analogy, and what to.

Your introduction and conclusion were opaque to me. I didn’t understand what you were trying to say. In contrast,
you sometimes write really clearly and visualise your ideas to the reader. For example, when talking about how
Jokinen uses waste materials “as a ‘painting’ or ‘drawing’ medium rather than as an intrinsic part of the concept
itself”. This was a great example of an artist who could be said to create visual analogies – with threads representing
the veins and sinews.

Again this makes total sense and I have struggled with this due to I believe my Asperger’s – being succinct and precise does not come naturally or easily.

Subject-specific vocabulary:
Reading more widely into the context for the essay will provide you with an improved vocabulary to write your
essay. Use more precise language to describe how the visual and material language of materials can be woven into
the narrative of an art work. When discussing the role of materials in the metaphor or analogy use words such as:
connotation /connotes, inference / infers, symbolism / symbolises, allusion / alludes, signifies, references,
embodies…

I understand how reading will improve my vocabularly and this is something I need to work further on.

Structure:
At times the essay reads like a list of artists- one artist per paragraph. Whilst your analysis is interesting, the format
is like a list of learning log research rather than an essay. This issue occurs after “My first reaction with my research
at this point was to consider practitioners whose work could….”, which I suggest you remove.

Try to use the artists to illustrate arguments within the essay. Review your essay structure. Use artists to help you
discuss your ideas, rather than listing them and discussing each individually. This will become easier with more
research into the broader context of the essay.

Both points I had concerns over particularly the listing style – it felt logical to do it this way but I can now see how the structure needs to change.

Artist intention vs personal opinion:
Be clear whether something is your analysis of a piece of work or is the artists intention. (See comments made in the
essay about Jokinen and Birtles.) Ideally, source quotes about the artists’ intentions: their comments about why
materials were chosen, how they were used, and what role they play in communicating the narrative. You can then
evaluate whether they have achieved their intentions based on your opinion of the work. The view of critics is also
valuable and useful to give you a more objective balance to your own subjective views.
E.g. above, I said Jokinen was an “example of an artist who could be said to create”. The “could be said to” highlights
that this is my supposition, rather than a fact based on artist research.

As before I now understand what is required and where my essay lacks clarity – this is not a point I have specifically thought about but feel should have been at the forefront of my mind particularly having studied art history.

Role of the material:
Your essay is fundamentally about the role of the material in the creation and communication of a metaphor or
analogy. Review your essay and identify where you are talking more broadly about the narrative or metaphorical
nature of the work without discussing analysing the role of the materials and rectify this gap.

This will be noted and corrected.

General points:
– Read books or journal articles! All the items in the bibliography are web articles about artists or pieces of
work. These are good supplementary sources for research but they cannot provide the backbone for
academic writing. There is no research into the broader subject – the materiality of textile art and the
communicative power of materials. Your introduction and conclusion are the weaker parts of the essay as a
result. More reading around the subject would provide a stronger context for this essay. As I said in response
to your essay proposal in August: “Ensure you find writing by the artist or critics about how materials are the
vehicles for the metaphor- both in relation to the specific work you look at and also broader commentary
about the communicative power of materials.”

– Use the artists’ surname or full name only. Titles, such as Mrs, aren’t used in academic writing.

– Check for consistent UK not US spellings: Fibre, not “fiber”, centring not “entering”

– Ask someone else to proofread the essay to see if they understand the points you make.

– REFERENCE. You’ve created a bibliography but not a reference list for quotes. Read the OCA/UCA
referencing guide.

I will be taking full note of the above points and in particular the last one which I had neglected to add.

Suggested reading/viewing
Context
– The Textile Reader, edited by Jessica Hemmings, is a great starting point for academic reading in textiles. It
collates essays about different aspects of textile culture and practice. A quick skim read suggests that a
chapter by Maxine Bristow on textiles and touch could provide some interesting ideas for you to quote
and/or discuss. E.g. “textiles are culturally situated on the threshold between the functional and the
symbolic” and the “embodied non-verbal materiality of the medium that makes textile a particularly
potent vehicle of cultural and artistic expression”. There is also an interesting comparison in the
introduction to the memory section between textiles and the body, which relates to your level 3 project
ideas: “the life span of the textile is not dissimilar to that of our own bodies: newness gradually replaces by
wear and tear until worn out”. A later chapter by Robyn Healey explores ‘decay aesthetics’, which might be
relevant to your L3 ideas. Healey also discusses clothing metaphors, which though not directly focused
on materials, does use appropriate language which might inform the tone of your discussion in this essay.

– Vitamin T by Phiadon would be a great source for artists to enhance your internet research. One example:
Kevin Beasley is an “incisive repurposer of urban detritus”. He “harnesses the emotive and discursive
potential of discarded garments”. The items are “pregnant with the memories” or “the physicality of their
real and imagined wearers”.

Use this as an opportunity to seek out new artists and explore the textile art context more broadly. In part 2
feedback I suggested looking at Vitamin T and said that you needed to “[s]eek research and inspiration from beyond
the textile craft context more regularly, particularly from textiles artists who exhibit in the contemporary art world”.
Your essay must do the same for you to be able to write at a suitably academic and critical level.

At the point of writing up this feedback The Textile Reader is on order and I am keen to get hold of a copy of Vitamin T but I will also search through my own selection of books again in order to find further artists who may be of relevance and who exhibit in the contemporary art world.

Overall I fully understand the points raised and will be using them to revise my essay accordingly.